Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Cretins, Cretins everywhere

Whilst making some amending touches to an application informing them that I would be willing to sell my soul (car, clothes and mother) for pittance to any criminal chambers that will have me, I have been prompted to write that most hallowed of things; a good old fashioned bitch.

This year I have undertaken a herculean effort to make my CV thicker than the village idiot and shinier than an army of bald men. Wearing silver. At noon. In the desert. And so, in undertaking this mammoth task I have signed up to every possible activity that my University has to offer. Every waking hour is spent doing (frankly) pointless tasks for some group or other that purports to have some legal relevance, which I recklessly agreed to be a part of despite my overwhelming lack of time as it was. Nonetheless, being actually committed, I take part in these organisations to the best of my ability.

Which brings me neatly onto my topic for this post; idle, CV bolstering (and often annoyingly successful) students. I am constantly surrounded by cretins. First class, 5 star, award winning cretins. All of these activities seem to be, on the whole, dependent on idiots and idle people (to say nothing of the organisers). A small example…

Every week I turn up to University (begrudging the fact that as a Masters student I have been forced to leave the comfort of my house surrounded by my books and sensible people) and stalk into the law department. As I make my way to the meeting of Project X, undergraduates cowering before me, I do so with a sense of dread. This particular group is large, unruly and worst of all, either monumentally stupid or worse - just plain lazy. Our overall aim is a large has been broken down into small bit sized chunks, which is in itself fair enough. However, it soon became apparent that this was still unworkable, because 2/3 of the group would either have failed to do it (and, having had two weeks to do it only discover they can’t in the hour before its due) or just haven’t bothered. And so, over time the chunks have been broken down smaller and smaller. They have now reached the point that they are so small that an octogenarian hamster with one leg and false teeth could manage them. Yet, each week there is a section of rebel undergraduates who have refused staunchly to do the work. Frankly, I find it disgraceful that these people have the privilege of putting it on their CV that they took part.
In Project X, were given a tasty chunk of work to be doing over the Christmas holidays, to present to the group which I duly did. However, it was not until 8 weeks into term that all of the members of said Project had completed this work. I reiterate. 8 WEEKS. One can row the Atlantic in less time than that. And so for those 8 tortuous weeks I have had practically nothing to do and progress has ground to a standstill. I am almost ashamed to have taken part, and yet neither the organisers nor the vast majority of pupils seems to care. I am stunned by this attitude.

And so here we have a classic example of the CV whore. Someone who is willing to do anything to get something on their CV, but once it is there will participate as minimally as possible, without regard to the consequences that this has on the exercise as a whole. My experience of undergraduate seminars was not much better; large numbers of people sitting in abject silence waiting for the answer because nobody wants to commit the energy. How in the name of any holy concept on which you wish to swear are these people going to make it in law?
And yet, from my experience, many of them do. And more successfully than myself.
Perhaps I should just adopt this attitude? After all, I can’t do worse.



  1. My Sympathies to you!

    There is nothing more FRUSTRATNG than to have joined a group which turns out to be a mere puff or a boast, such that YOU end up doing all the work and everyone ELSE's CV Takes the credit. The Mooting Society at my own seat of learning was, and indeed is a case in point. I was HORRIFIED to see a group of giggling second year undergrads recently pitch the benefits of our law school to putative new students, which went something along the lines of,
    " Well, like, its really cool, you can do mooting if you want, but most of us arent that BOTHERED, because you only want to join and put it on your CV like we did for when you are applying for the BVC n' Shit like that, because it will look really GOOD and means that you can go off and do other things"

    One assumes that the " other things" include Sleeping/Getting Drunk/Moaning and Whingeing about the ammount work required for Tutorials and Seminars and then not doing THAT, either.

    I Give up, I really do.......

  2. Plenty of CV (or rather pupillage) Whores on BVC too, contribute nothing, take what they can grab. I often wonder what sort of barristers they will make?